ramblings: being present & conscious vs desires
We all want things in life, there is no denying that. Achievements, success, money... they all cease to have any power or interest over us as we discover something far greater than that; it's true when they say money can't buy happiness, money can only buy you comfort. True happiness is found as a State of Being, within yourself, not outside yourself, not projecting it on objects in the external world, where everything is impermanent, always changing like the surface of the sea, glittering a light it can only reflect, never own. It's not about life goals either. We may have everything but the real question to understand if we're leading a fulfilling life is, are we abiding to that one thing that makes life real, full? It's Presence. We are always hurrying from one experience to another, earning, achieving, getting "there"....often times without fully processing what happened, how we felt, what was triggered within ourselves, which memories with their corresponding unresolved feeling, and if there is anything within that wants to express itself. What can we learn from that feeling? how can we integrate it within ourselves, harmoninzing the negative aspect, mending the bleeding wound that was long forgotten in the depths of darkness (the unconscious). Looking back I realize that when I was a kid, I was very present and at times I would also dissociate when necessary. From my own experience, I understand that there was presence without always being fully conscious of what moved me, of the invisible forces within myself. Now, as an adult, I believe and feel it's about being conscious and also reclaiming our natural ability to be present in the moment, because with this two elements in harmony with each other, life is lived fully. We have this illusion that it's only when we get the things we want that life begins to feel alright - we think so when in truth, it's the opposite. It doesn't start outside of ourselves, things don't click only when everything goes well and according to plan. Once we accept this, life feels less tense, it goes more smoothly. And that's not because life changed its rules but because we changed our way to approach it. If we were only to be happy when we have desires fulfilled, would that be true happiness? Many times it is said that the journey is more important than reaching the destination. Do we really understand the meaning of this? Or we accept it as far as it is convenient and then still feel unhappy that things aren't how we wish them to be? This doesn't mean stagnation into situations that stop us from growing. It's about being content and at peace with ourselves before we get "there"; even when your deepest desires have yet to take place, you are content and nothing can destabilize you, nothing can have power over your state of being. Our focus goes to the state of being, not the world outside. Gratitude is a superpower, it awakens within us... as we focus on the things we take for granted and we break the loop of negativity which only calls negativity back to itself. When life is experienced from presence, we are unshakable because we don't believe any negative thought knocking at our door, we don't buy the old record which is presented over and over again through rumination. Presence is the doorway to every answer, once we observe life neutrally, we know which direction to take. We also don't realize that most of these desires have been taught to us, maybe these were our parents wishes, or maybe we started wishing those things because of the content we consume, that's how any basic marketing strategy works. You see people with "the product" experiencing specific emotions like excitement or whatever, and suddenly you buy into the idea that getting that thing will make you feel that way. It all happens on a subconscious level, it's all about feelings... wishing to feel prettier, wishing to feel worthy, wishing to feel cooler and the list goes on.. even movies can program us and push beliefs into our mind if we are not conscious, nor present. And it all begins with a simple misunderstanding: they seem happy so we might be happy as well (now I'm simplifying it but that's the core idea). So it's realizing that it's not ownership that makes the status, it's not having those things, "that" lifestyle but the feeling underneath them. True happiness can be found in self fulfillment and self fulfillment is a very unique journey that starts within.
"Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that is." Mandy Hale