letting the inner yapper heal through blogging
There’s something so good about letting the inner yapper loose. And the best way to do it is through journaling and blogging. Since I began my writing journey, I have noticed a part of me finally healing, not only because I finally give myself enough space to reflect, but also because I love writing. We may miss many things when we don’t sit and think back on certain events, but journaling about them is the perfect practice for making things look clearer, stopping ourselves from holding back, or telling ourselves they don’t matter. It’s like giving attention to yourself, and attention is a love language. Why watch movies or scroll through other people’s lives on social media when you can sit by yourself and listen to yourself? If you think this is being self-absorbed, then look deeper, because you are the one in charge of your life, and only you can know what’s best for you. That requires paying attention to yourself and embracing self-discovery. I think that one of the things I’ve always done in my life was always trying to hold back the inner yapper, even with myself. There is nothing more horrifying than observing people talk and noticing that they are oversharing, trauma dumping, or just plainly giving in to overly detailed talk without knowing how to stop. They don’t pause to listen and engage actively with others; they just keep talking, and it feels like all they want to do is give a monologue and have people listen to them. That used to be a fear of mine, and it still kinda is, because I don’t want to end up doing such a thing. I don’t want to be that person. People with this pattern love attention, and sure, we all love to get attention, but they’re demanding it. They’re not even checking if the other person wants to listen or what the other person has to say. That’s when the dialogue stops being a two-way conversation. The one listening may no longer want to participate in it because it’s draining them. They feel brushed aside, and as if their only function is to just let the other person feel seen. And honestly, the worst thing about them is that they try to keep you listening when you’re trying to get away. No, thanks, I have stuff to do. And that’s why I prefer to keep some stuff to myself—because I don’t want to take up too much space with others, and I know how that feels when you’re on the receiving end; it’s suffocating. I noticed I never allow myself to do it. Even with my best friend, I still feel the need to apologize if I seem to get carried away with things I’m passionate about. That’s how much I’m afraid of ending up that way. So journaling became a safe activity for me to just drop everything off my mind. However, I now know that it’s okay to do it when you’re by yourself, and to do it respectfully when you are with others and there is interest, consent, and never any force applied. What’s so great about journaling is that many times I don’t know what it’ll evolve into; I begin with a sentence, knowing what I write may not make sense at first. I take that yapping train, and it leads to wonderful places. That’s the opportunity to ask myself questions, figure things out, and still allow myself to make mistakes. And now blogging feels like the next step in doing that because people who come across it may read it, but I’m not forcing them to. One can choose whether they’re interested or not; it’s up to them. I decided to journal in English even if it’s not my first language; that way, I can challenge myself to improve my writing and keep the flow. Blogging is definitely the next step because I have to be more precise and vigilant with grammar mistakes. But after all, here, it’s home. That’s where it feels safe to yap—no filter, no guilt, no shame. Just a dancing rhythm made of words, insights, and the lens through which I see the world. And some of the concepts may still be evolving, but they’re just as important as the final result. We build things from the ground up and keep elevating them towards higher places.