letter to my past self
to that beautiful version of me from 1 year ago
Hello little one. I love you. You’re going through so many changes and you’re reaching as many mountain peaks as you also descend into the deepest caves. I am proud of you! Sometimes you feel like you know what’s going on and many other times, you’re lost, you second guess yourself and you feel a little discouraged. I don’t wanna be predictable when I say this because I truly mean it but that’s okay, you know? You’re finally understanding how this is all part of the path and that there’s no way you can figure it out all at once. Those are just false expectations, based on the need for certainty. Will this certainty make the journey really better? Will it make you stable? Is that what you think will give you stability in yourself? In all truth, it is your own faith in yourself and the very power within you that gives you life...it is so loving, it uplifts you, it protects you, it nourishes you. Self-trust, self-respect and self-forgiveness are wonderful qualities you are developing. Have faith, nothing that happens here will ever harm you. You already know that and at the same time, you know it is your identity which experiences the suffering; processing those emotions, and all those energies and validating them is also part of this sacred journey. Feel into them with a neutral mind, don’t give in to stories, the truth always prevails. The more you remind yourself of that which you know to be true, the more you’ll gain that inner strength when you mostly need it. Because you do know, that God loves us all and that God lives in All and you also know that the entire Universe is supporting each and everyone in this wonderful Creation! It’s never about the experiences, the events, the challenges, it’s about you and who you choose to be during those moments. Will you remember it? When something pushes you out of your balance, will you give in to that old way of acting that escalates into doubt and fear or will you pause, and take a deep breath? What will you do? Will you go into reactivity, illusion and deceptive thoughts? Or will you decide within yourself that the event, no matter how bad it looks, cannot have power over you, over your internal state and how you act? Will you choose to be conscious and take it as an opportunity to awaken? Will you take that as an opportunity to see what’s still inside to be looked at and transformed? Will you remember that you always have a choice, that you’re a Sovereign Being and that being in your own power means knowing how to define the direction of your thoughts, of your words, of your actions? Will you be so easily affected by what’s going outside that you will forget the One who’s inside? Again, all you gotta do to come back in alignment is as simple as breathing consciously. As you breathe consciously, you take a hold over yourself. I have recently learned how the breath is the bridge between mind-body system and soul and have a more in depth understanding than you. You’ve always known the right thing to do, and I am here to confirm it! I guess that the more we grow, the more our understanding gets deeper. And I also know by now that true understanding comes from embodied and lived experienced. We used to hold back a lot, always trying to do the right thing, always trying to protect ourselves, and we also ended up protecting ourselves from life itself and its gifts. But this is not about missing out, this is about being reborn as the One we’ve always been. Unlocking all these inner truths and also the uncomfortable ones feels like freedom. I remember one year ago when you were struggling with that thing, trying to lower your standards because you thought you were the problem. Well, look at us now, I am finally experiencing how it is to be in a community that aligns with our values and it is amazing. I know that you would have dropped that inner struggle way easier if you knew what was expecting you here. You wouldn’t have felt all that guilt as if asking for more is wrong. I’m grateful for the work you did because it did get us here after all. Sometimes we force ourselves through some paths we don’t fully like because we mistakenly think it may be the only way available for us and that’s so funny! We already know that everything is possible but somehow, there are times when we look at life from that limited perspective, don’t we? Growth may be uncomfortable but then you see how it’s all worth it. You have taught me more wisdom than you can imagine. I pray I can do the same for the one version of us that is waiting for us in the future. Let’s go and get hands&feet deep into this work and let us also remember that it is play at the same time.
All the blessings & love.