"I Say a Little Prayer"
This past week, I haven't been feeling great -mood wise- and I noticed that when I got into this state, polishing my blog or working on buttons helped me get out of my head... I realized I have been using it as a way to distract myself. More than escapism, it felt like a coping mechanism – my blog is that one place where everything feels like home. When stuff around and within me began to crumble, I looked for relief that only a place like my blog can give me, cause it’s where I can take a breath, where I feel welcomed, and where I can just be myself.
Once I was back on the real life plane, I'd still be feeling this way. Usually, when I feel like this, I work through it, I sit in it, I write about it, and I never neglect other things I'm working on or personal projects. But this time, I really didn’t feel like even responding to the situation, to do anything about it. A part of me felt guilty like I was regressing into a state of apathy and resignation. But another part of me realized that I cannot fight against it and this was gonna be with me until I released it completely. It’s important to feel it all and understand that trying to immediately find a resolution can also be a secret attempt to resist it. So, I chose to be patient and compassionate with myself, to not push myself into doing things and not to be hard on myself as if I'm doing something bad, not feeling guilty like "you have all this stuff to do instead of acting this way" because doing those things in this mood won't change it. During moments like this, I can only love myself as I am and do what I can - acknowledge what I do, knowing quantity can never improve quality.
Drawing and using colors to express my emotions uplifted me. Singing songs that heal my heart gave me strength. Prayer melted the hardness away. The prayer you have in your heart is all you need. However, if you feel the desire for it, you can immerse yourself in prayers written by others.
I wanna share a website I found thanks to the “Prayer for Peace” by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan. This prayer in particular has helped me during this week. I also added few others that came up. You can click on the images to check out the website. It's lovely.
May our hearts be at peace. May our eyes notice the ever-present blessings around us. May our minds be open to the Harmony of Life operating through us. All the blessings, dear brothers and sisters.
This is one is short, yet as poetic as a sunrise.
