Faith stays.
Feelings come and go. Faith stays.
And she said: "I can't feel it."
You cannot feel that which you do not engage with.
And yet, God is there. His Omnipresence and Love engulf you. God is present with you.
Imagine your entire being as a castle. There are several floors, and by simply directing your attention where you desire to, you can fly/teleport to any floor or department.
You get in touch with your physical body, "The Body Department". You sense the guts, the feet, the throat, the eyes, the ears, and then you shift to another floor. You visit the Mental Space.
Now, if you've been dwelling in your mind a lot, this is what you are familiar with. What side of your mind have you been visiting the most?
Sometimes you've been stuck in your mind for so long that wandering elsewhere feels unnatural.
There you are in your mind where you keep replaying the usual thought-loops, where nothing new can come. It is cold and freezing. You keep reading the same records, again and again.
There are ghosts of the past, volumes filled with worries, paintings full of "what could have been", the not-so-well hidden skeleton of fears in the closets, and the chains of discouragement.
When will you clean it up? Most of it doesn't belong to you anyway. You see a small, ominous door with thick letters on it: "the basement - subconscious".
You turn away and you look at another memory.
The mind stores. The heart feels. The body pulsates. The breath creates a bridge.
And what about your Spirit, your Soul? It's the essential part of who you are like the blooming scent is for a flower, signaling a bee to follow its trail, and gently whispering: "Here I am! I exist. This is my signature aroma. Come, rest in my nectar, you little worker. You've been buzzing around enough for today."
You cannot see the aroma and yet, you can attest, it exists! You can smell it. Such wonders cannot be detected by the eyes, you need another sense.
Life flows through every existing thing. You've got to trust it is there, and never question it. After all, you never question if it is the wind or not, when your hear it touch the leaves of a tree.
You do hear it. Then, why is it so difficult to become aware of the Universe pumping its Unconditional Love every instant into you?
Because you only engage with few, usual departments of yourself, not your entire Self. What sense may you need to develop to finally become aware of it?
Retrieve that ancient curiosity for Life, that playfullness to discover things from inside out. Look with wonder at yourself, you're a miracle. You're a snowflake, there will never be anything else in the Universe exactly as you. Not even closer to you, nothing can ever be able to duplicate your essence.
And then, as you build your Faith, keep engaging with That. Take it as a committment, a daily mission.
You're the hero of your story and you can never skip your daily quest: getting into your heart to connect with the Eternal Flame within.
That ancient spark is the seed from which you sprouted into existence. You're linked to it for eternity. That umbilical cord is like a yoyo that keeps pulling you closer, bouncing you back rhythmically to its Hand, to its Heartbeat, to its Love, despite how far you seem to get at times.
You feel that Love? How can you, when there are so many layers of dust that your soul accumulated through the Years, the layers of identities and beliefs. Your mind isn't meant to describe it. You can only experience it and live it wholeheartedly. Your lips and mind may attempt an explanation. They may tell a story with a meaningful ending. They may portray the most heartwarming poem and weave the most beautiful song, and yet it would not be close to the Full Truth. It would be a mere mirage in the desert.
You want to feel it before you actually descend into it, but each step is necessary growth for you to ascend to it.
You may think you've got to feel it first, but it doesn't always work that way. Be like a gardener that plants a seed and waters it - the wise one won't sit there and say: "Bloom now!".
Search for it by refining your attention. Listen attentively. Go deep into the Silence, as if you were walking in a dark, humid tunnel in the depths of the Earth. The rocks are slippery to the touch, and you're waiting… you're waiting to hear that drop of water reverberate from somewhere and guide you to the Springs Of Life.
As you step forward, you feel the weight you carry on your tense shoulders. You took some volumes of worries with you, they're from your "Mind Department" apparently.
You either keep them or drop them away. The choice is yours. What else are you carrying with you? Oh yes, disbelief. It comes out of the Shadow in the form of hands choking you, leaving you breathless. Your heart starts pounding, maybe it's screaming at you:"Trust the path. Trust yourself. But above all, Trust God."
The feeling comes as a result. It's as if, we humans, want to reverse the process.
We've got to start somewhere. Therefore, let's start our journey in the heart. Let's fill it with the utmost joyous and sincerest prayers.
And the rest shall follow.