Be a bee
Being socially active is hard. Actually, making friends is hard and keeping that connection alive is too. Why is it so expensive when friendship is one of the most valuable forms of connection? Maybe thatâs just because some interactions drain us when we least suspect it. Maybe thatâs because we have so much going on in our lives that keeping to ourselves is the best option. Let the inner hermit take over when being a social butterfly is too much of a demand for your energy!
Most of the time youâve got to set your priorities straight. Sacrificing yourself for more social time should never be an option, or at least itâs not in my book, because then Iâm dragging myself to it and that changes the way I show up. We get this just fine when it comes to recharging our phones, we can become aware of it when it comes to our own precious selves.
I have been aware for a while that my capacity for friends is somehow limited. I feel like part of me is super friendly. I want to be out there, interacting with everyone, having a good time and another part of me knows there is no space for that, not right now at least and I made peace with that...
Nowadays it is more difficult because social life extends to our phones, we are literally communicating not only in real life but also through screens, thatâs double the effort... I love being on bearblog and for a while I wanted to be more than just an island, be an extrovert for once but it's not possible. I end up feeling fatigue, guilt or like I'm missing out. Sometimes the best thing I can do is upvote the post and leave a nice comment in the guestbook. Maybe mention them in my own posts because they inspired me and I want to give them credit for it. After all, itâs good to keep it simple. The enthusiast in me is all about complimenting others but I also understand that we donât have to engage with othersâ content at all costs. I guess this is how we feel when weâre used to platforms that have the comment section and provide so much access to others.
I was wondering when I am gonna make a guestbook to give others the opportunity to do so. On one hand, I like it this way. Itâs simple and I can focus all my energy on what I write and the blog itself. On the other hand, I like to leave appreciation posts on othersâ guestbooks and enjoy the feature. I realized maybe it's because I don't know if what I post is always ârightâ. I may write typos and mistakes so I take some time to correct them. When I first started blogging, I would read some of my published posts and be like âwhoops, a missing articleâ and then âwhoops, I forgot a dotâ. But thatâs because you need to let that post rest so the day after your mind will be more clear to check it, and even then, it wonât be perfect anyway. Itâs also because I donât know if people would appreciate what I write about but that has a lot more to do with my own insecurities than it has to do with people. I donât write for others here, I write for myself. And I was afraid I would focus so much on othersâ comments that I'd forget to actually do my thing, âfeel the pressureâ or try to be trendy. Itâs incredible how sometimes we want to stop showing up because we can feel that weâre unconsciously showing up for othersâ attention. So we almost feel the need to be received or welcomed in our own unique expression. But blogging is about showing up for ourselves and letting others have the opportunity to witness it, to take a glance at our becoming and let our hearts meet in a place where the connection is real... feel that "I see you" and then go your own way. And that means not taking the mind in that interaction at all costs. Less is more, isnât it? Just focus on what you enjoy writing about and cheer on others when you feel like it. The rest can be gone with the wind.
Iâm gonna end this with a quote that found me the other day by Daily Mindfulness on Substack; it made me feel contentment. It comforted me and assured me that despite that personality need I have to be like a social butterfly, I can fulfill myself by being the Wanderer (or well, Mithrandir) Iâve always felt myself to truly be: âYou donât have to be everyoneâs butterfly. Be a bee. Mind your business, make your honey and sting people when necessary.â