a conversation with my fear
“One day you’ll probably cringe at what you wrote”. Really? Even if that would be the case, it won’t stop me from writing it anyway. Sometimes growth looks like choosing to be cringe. LET ME BE CRINGE! Hit that publish button too! Also, remember those funny videos I made when I was a teenager? I watched them the other day and I couldn’t help but beam at that version of myself. I’m happy she made those videos. I’m happy she was free enough to be silly. I still think that video inspired by my fave movies has to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever watched, because I thought that bending my back slow-motion would represent the most epic scene from The Matrix and it’s not executed as well as I thought back then but the absurdity of it makes it hilarious. I’m happy to see bravery in myself, even in ways she wouldn’t have been able to see. I’m happy she had funny ideas and recorded herself doing those things, even if she was really lonely and nobody was interested in it… Sometimes what stopped her was feeling lonely and like she had to do everything alone, by herself. When I find some videos of that genre from other people on YT, I don’t judge them because I can see myself in them and know that we were all doing that back then and it feels less lonely. Now I know that there is such wonderful freedom in doing your own thing. I can enjoy my own company and trust that the right people will show up. Either way, the path we walk on may seem lonely at times when we don’t cross with some travelers on the way, but the path itself is alive and walking with us. Don't let anyone or anything give it up for the cringe.